CURRENT MOOD... This is how I feel most days!

The following poem is called, "MY BATTLE WITH LIFE” It comes from my current available poetry book.

MY BATTLE WITH LIFE

I’m always in a constant fight
Day in, day out I battle with life.
I feel like I’m battling with no shield
Confused about an illness and learning to deal.
How do you win a battle against yourself?
I’ll choose another hardship; this one belongs on the shelf.
I never really win, it’s like I constantly lose.
It’s hard when there aren’t any available options to choose.
Sometimes I think maybe it’s all just a dream
Or a curse that’s temporarily consuming me.
How do I fight a battle in which I have no control?
A battle against myself with no restrictions or goals.
My main focus staying alive;
And a permanent strategy on how to survive.
This illness has no sympathy, no sorrow no remorse.
No lessons on how to win, no classes no course.
As my days go on I constantly learn
To be patient for good days until it’s my turn.
I wonder if lupus attacks out of spite.
Just to prevent me from winning this fight.
Whatever it is it doesn’t seem right
To be involved in a constant battle with my life.